Just because you’re too lazy to learn another language, it doesn’t mean English needs to be official.

Of all the truly asinine things I’ve heard from the Make English the Official Language maroons, I think the most truly asinine is “Why should I have to press “1” for English?” We all understand how hard it is for enraged chest-pounders to get their chubby little digits on only one number at a time, but is it really that hard? Is it too much work? Or is it just too annoying that someone speaks another language, and you don’t? What are they plotting when they speak in those barbaric tongues? The downfall of English speakers, everywhere!