The Story of Noah


IMG_0234…and Noah built a big boat, because his neighbors had boats, and he wanted a bigger one. Not to mention his wife was a crazy animal lady, always taking in more strays, even though everything they  owned smelled like cat pee.

And his sons were pranksters. They put holes in everyone else’s boats.

It started to rain, and all the animals went to Noah’s boat. Anything that didn’t get on the boat, including people, was eaten by a big black cat, which is why, to this day, people are scared of black cats.

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OPENING DAY AT WRIGLEY IS APRIL 10! STAY HOME AND POP OPEN A FROSTY ONE!


Rain Delay at Wrigley.jpg
Rain Delay at Wrigley. You can’t leave the part and come back, ie, you must spend your money here for the next 4 hours. Welcome to the Friendly Confinement!

OR: Make yourself the frosty one while the 35 mph wind circles around the stands. The editorial staff of the Meta-Bug recommends watching it on TV.

Truth be told, we recommend that you sell your season tickets, don’t go to individual games, and watch at a local bar. Fuck MLB and the owners. We love baseball, but they are playing you for suckers.

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