Avoiding Insanity: Today’s Strategy


I have been listening to music instead of NPR.

The truth is that I just can’t take it anymore. Any of it: NPR, CNN, network news, cable news, whacko internet sites that crop up on my facebook page. The whole world has gone crazy and in the little space that my body occupies THERE ISN’T ONE DAMN THING THAT I CAN DO.

I even dreamt about fucking politics last night. I had an old neighbor who was rabidly conservative, and –wait! I’m not going into it

So for the next hour or so, I will be listening to Rachmaninov’s Etudes Tableaux.

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Where’s that F#@!ing Gr0uNdhog?!


It’s snowing. It is not pretty or scenic or quaint or anything like that.

OK, it’s not a lot of snow, at least for New England.

But I’ve done my time! I was here last year! I went to grad school in Wisconsin! I’m looking forward to global warming! I want to convert my snow blower into a go-kart and drive it over snow-free roads and fields, defiling the ecosystem and being a nuisance!

I  get my revenge on nature!

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However:

I am not shoveling or firing up the snow blower. It will be in the 40’s tomorrow, and I am going to let old Sol do the work.  Ya use your brains or ya use your back. I think my brain might might give out first, but at least I’ll be able to stand up and walk (as long as I’m not chewing gum, cf. Gerald Ford).

In  related events, the crew represented in  Goodfellas decided they had had enough and had our little friend did his own grave.

Groundhog caught in chicken pen, Chengdu, China - 06 Apr 2012
(Mandatory Credit: Photo by Quirky China News / Rex Features (1689244a) )

What I Threw Out Today: The Hotel Brochure from My Trip to Phuket, and what it says about aging


WAS I ALREADY TOO OLD to call it a voyage of my misspent youth? Maybe–we extend youth so long these days, heaven forfend that we get older, IMG_1879because as you age, you disappear. When you age you get to that point where, when contemplating the future, you no longer see the things that once inspired you, but rather the indignities and the infirmities that lie ahead. That is, unless you adopt a healthy attitude towards aging, and I haven’t. I’m in the midlife crisis I’ve been in since I was 25.

What does it say, in any case? It says to me that I went to Thailand with some woman. It says that people drift apart and experiences are the remembrance of emotion, not of images or place. The trip to Thailand was fun, and it wasn’t fun. It was one of those relationships that had just a bit too much competition and a bit too much held inIMG_1883 reserve. It’s all part of the past now, and whatever was good (or bad) about it I will hold in my memory. IMG_1886However, I’m at the point in my life where I’d like to–if I’m able–choose the time and place of my remembering things. I don’t like bad memories slipping in at inconvenient moments. It just muddies my mental waters. If I were a brightsider, I’d say at least I can still remember.

I know it’s only one piece of paper that I am throwing out. But they add up. If I kept it, my children would find it one day (maybe) after I died, and say, oh, so he went to Thailand once. It would not even be a footnote in their memories of me.

On the lighter side, the translations from the Thai are hilarious.
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