Pandas: They’re Why You Want To Be Famous


You’re going along OK, feeling like your life is not bad, but then it happens: you feel the need to be recognized, to be somebody.

pandas

Why? Because you realize that as Joe Schmoe, average citizen, you are never going to get to cuddle with even one baby panda, much less two. The Prime Minister of Canada is no more deserving than you, no more qualified to hold two baby pandas, yet there he is, in what might the not only the greatest moment of his life, but the greatest moment of anyone’s life, anywhere at any time.

It’s just not fair. And since the universe is not going to be fair, it may as well be unfair towards you.

You want your fame, but you know deep inside, it’s just for the pandas.

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Jews Wish Were Gentile, Vol. II


Stephen Miller

stephen-millerSomebody tell him to go away. Put him on an ice floe with a polar bear. (Not that I want the bear to eat him or harm a single hair on his feet. I’m just hoping against hope that he will develop some empathy. Unlikely, but who knows. Even Chuck Colson found G-d).

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Polaroid of the Day


Time to deal with my analog problems.

I bought these Double Seconds steel drums from Panyard in Akron, OH, in 1996 when I lived in Long Creek, SC. They’ve spent most of that time in storage. I was going to sell them, and then I decided to learn to play them.

Fun.

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FYI, the Backsteet Boys Were Once Nominated for a Grammy Album of the Year


The Who never was.

Led Zeppelin never was.

Joe Satriani was. 15 times. But he never won.

Katy Perry? 0 for 13 (which is alright by me).

Bob Dylan was, but not for Highway 61 Revisited or Blood on the Tracks.

The Captain and Tennille were nominated for Song of the Year. Really.

Neil Diamond–Neil fucking Diamond–was nominated for Song Sung Blue. which might be the only song he wrote that was worse than Sweet Caroline (and at least Song Sung Blue doesn’t ruin every single eighth inning at Fenway Park). Or maybe his worst song was I Am I Said. No, I think it was Play Me. . .

Beyonce didn’t get her Grammy for racial reasons? It may be true, partially. But I don’t think that her skin color or her questioning of the system is the necessary and sufficient element in denying her  a meaningless trophy. My proof? I got none. I have no idea what goes on in the heads of those morons. If we really want to give an Album of the Year award, we should probably have a five-year waiting period. Sometimes the Grammys get it right  (or close enough), like with Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Other times, they just get it completely wrong, like with Billy Joel’s 52nd Street (let the arrows start to fly, Piano Man lovers).

And in the end,  I really don’t get why anyone cares. We give stupid awards ceremonies more weight when we say they matter. The Meta-Bug staff, to a person, hasn’t watched an awards ceremony in years. Apparently, the unintentional boycott has not affected the viability of the institutions.

 

 

 

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Polaroid of the Day


 

Life was tough in the analog days. Ya had to be patient, clever, calculating. And then, sometimes, it just didn’t go all that well. Especially with old film.

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Four Failures (that’s what we called them in the analog days, not “fails.”
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(SOCIAL) MEDIA SHABBAT


sabbath_blessing_candles_and_challah
taken without permission from  www.helensiegler.org

my brain hurts… need rest… Shabbat Shalom to you Jake Turx, Twittler owes you an apology,jake-turxShabbat Shalom to you, Jared Kushner, in spite of all the evidence that you won’t do the right thing, we still hope you dokushner-shabbat…

Shabbat Shalom to you, Sheldon Adelson,have a great time hosting the Cheneys next weekend, you embarrassment to the Tribe,

and well, Stephen Miller, I don’t really care what kind of Shabbat you have.

 stephen-miller

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What I Threw Out Today


A Clear Modem. Worthless. They are offered for pennies on eBay. I found this in an unpacked box, 2 years after I moved into this house.

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This is actually a very sad picture. I associate this modem with a very hard time in my life. Good fucking riddance.
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